Friday, October 20, 2006

Pass the Security Blanket

char kuey teow, anyone?


Have u ever wondered why some people are so insecure in their lives that they end up doing some of the silliest things to try and provide their own selves with a false sense of security? It becomes especially true when it's insecurity in a romantic relationship, where one party feels that they cannot equal their partner's good looks/great charms/popularity with the opposite sex.

It's perfectly normal to be insecure sometimes. Everyone gets hit by that pang of "What if?" every once in a while. In fact when i first started going out with my current partner i felt pretty insecure, coz he seemed to be particularly well-liked and popular with the female crowd. However, all it took was some time, a little discussion and the most important element in a relationship - trust - before i got over my little insecurities.

However, in the recent days i have noticed insecurities present themselves to me in different forms. Not my personal insecurities, but those of others'. And trust me, it can be more awkward
than not. Like in the case of where someone thinks you're trying to steal their partner and thus goes on and makes a public statement (or many, many statements for that matter) that their lover is so intensely in love with them, that they only have eyes for each other etc. And sometimes it's a bit of an information overload.

The root of the matter was that you never had any intention to be a thief anyway. But the insecure mind had become so twisted that something which was so unconnected with that fact was already a different picture in their mind. And it's sad that they are so insecure that they have to resort to ways which, for lack of better word, actually deadbolt their partner to themselves. There are limits to every relationship, and to everything you can or cannot do in a relationship. But if at the end of the day the limits which have been set are so unrealistic they are not workable, even the strongest of deadbolts will undo.

Sometimes you just need to sit back and tell yourself (not the whole wide world) that your partner really loves you for YOU. And in spite of the fact that there are millions of individuals out there who are more beautiful, more attractive, smarter, more eloquent etc. at the end of the day he or she still chose YOU. And chose to remain with YOU. Therefore if there's any threat whatsoever to the "great" relationship which you are in now, it could well be your own sense of insecurity that's posing that threat.

Live life and love one day at a time, and never try and rush things. You'd be surprised at some of the results you might obtain. And just because certain people don't publicly tell their partners they love them, doesnt mean they don't. Cheers.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Soulmates - what are they?

My friend Jane, recently asked me a question, and then proceeded to blog about it. She asked me, whether I believe in "soulmates". At that point of time, I didnt ponder about the issue, I merely gave a haughty "no" and dismissed the question. This morning, I woke up, and had another chat with Jane and this time I seemed to have an opinion.

What exactly are soulmates? According to Jane, her friends defined Soulmates as your partner in love. Your lover. Your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically someone whom you are in love with and is apparently compatible with, hence the notion Soulmates. I supposed looking at it from an angle, would a Soulmate be defined as someone who will be together with you, as the saying goes "till death do us part"? Is your soulmate the person that you are totally in love with and who loves you back?

I prefer to look at the concept of soulmates as someone who might or might not be a lover. If you think about it and you think about relationships. Dont you think that relationships can be a tad pretentious? Im talking bout love related relationships. Do you remember the first date? The facade people put up. The makeup, the conversations, the effort put up so that your real self dont shine through? And if that succeed and there's a relationship, how many of us find ourselves trying to change the person we fell in love with as we gradually get to know some of their secret traits, those that were not evident during the period of courtship. And how many more of us puts up with such behaviour and try to change ourselves to accomodate what we might dislike about our "soulmate". How can the person we love, the person we sleep with be our soulmate if so much effort had to be put in to keep the relationship going?

Couldn't a soulmate be a best friend? Someone who knows you for who you are, and who will love you for it regardless and vice versa. SOmeone where you dont have to put a front or make any effort but still be loved and accepted and you in turn, accept and love that person for who he/she is. A soulmate is someone who complements you, who complete whatever you're lacking and with he/she around you're just better. Its like you're finally complete. Its not a mirror image of you. But of the qualities you lacked, he/she has. And for what he/she lacks, you possessed. So if literally, if you two were a jigsaw puzzle, if would be a perfect fit. There would be no need to trim the edges, or forcefully twist and bend the frame to fit. It is that missing piece of yourself, reflected in another and vice versa.

A soulmate may come and go, like friends and acquaintances. Just because someone sticks with you till the end, doesnt mean he/she was your soulmate. A lover, and a soulmate is something very different. Of course, there are times, when people are that lucky to be in love with their soulmates. But for me, soulmates are a different level. The threshold of mutual understanding between soulmates is so much higher than in any other relationships. Your soulmate may not be a permanent fixture in your life but to encounter another human being who complements your existence, is an encounter to cherish even if for a brief moment. And that, is my interpretation of Soulmates.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Love, perhaps?

First and foremost, as the newbie in town i would like to thank Lyn for inviting me to blog here. So as to not dissapoint frequent readers & writers of this blog, i decided to think long and hard before making my first post : )
Thankfully, inspiration came to me last nite. In the form of a television programme.
I am sure that everybody alive in Malaysia now would have heard, if not watched the local reality TV series - Cornetto Love? Perhaps : P I know that its extremely cheesy and i vouched never to watch it, but unfortunately there was nothing else better to bore my brain with last nite. And so i watched.
All the while whilst chanting LOSER...LOSER... (no offence to those diehard fans of the shows or of the boys) I mean...first if u even bother to check their website for the boys' profiles, you will find that they actually display their Friendster User IDs there!! omigod. Of all corniness. But wait. That's not the best part. The ice-cream (pun intended) to this cake will have to be the programme's own Friendster account !!!!! Eeeeek.
And when u watch the show, you'll realise how bad it is. The filming, the boys, the girls. I mean, all the boys are as Malaysian as "lah" can get. But the girlsss - looking at their pics yeah they look like your typical lah-girl. But once they open their mouths : oooh. There's one for each continent. One sounds American, one takes on a Brit accent and another one fakes an Aussie. Jeez... and apart from the bad filming, i think the cameraman really likes Shree. Why? Coz i dont see the other girls' faces as much as i see hers : P
All in all i think the show sucks. Plainly because in terms of the girls, the host Stephanie Chai has to be the most eligible. Yeah, go ahead and pick a gorgeous host. And the guys? Erm...i wont say too much coz some ppl might know them and two of them even hail from my hometown. But let's just say they should keep their shirts & shades on. Oh and for some, their mouths shut.
Yup - it's really sad what people do in the name of fame these days (dont even start about the finding true love n all bit. winner takes home a car for gawd's sakes).
Back to the drawing board.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

No such thing as good, cheap food

There we were, strutting confidently into the doorway, and we were engulfed with the aroma of fresh Italian herbs, no doubt from the fresh bread that is served before every meal. We sat confidently and comfortably at the table allocated for us. And there we sat and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.

A sense of deja vu began to envelope us. We've been here before. We've been in this situation before. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS THE FOOD?

We were there for their Neverending Pasta deal on Wednesday. 19.90++ for all the pasta you can eat. It was a good deal and they had awesome pasta. But for the 2 or 3 times we've been there, everything was a horrendous disappointment. The first helping of pasta usually comes quick enough. Within 30 minutes or so. The next order will take about an hour. And that is with constant reminders to the waiters, who by the way, will come to your table , utter the customary , "yes?" and when we enquire about the food, will usually start giving a blank uncomfortable look, swings his head left and right , mutter an incomprehensible phrase and then walk off. Those that actually said , "oh, i'll check on it for you", will never come back and update us with the status of the food.

The first time it happened, we thought, oh wells, probably it was just a busy night. We'll cut them some slack. Yesterday however, was utterly disappointing. The first pasta order came more than an hour late and they got the orders wrong. For some reason, they cant seemed to put the right pasta in it. If you want fettucine, they give you linguine. If you want linguine, they give you angel hair. If you want penne, they give you spaghetti. Whats the deal with that?? Also, the food quality, eg taste, seemed to deteriorate as the night drags on.

We've also encountered terribly rude waiters who stands there with a sullen look, reprimanding us by stating that "you're not allowed to share your food or you'll be charged double". Where the heck does it state in the menu that we will be charged for sharing. I know theres a little tiny line that states that its an individual portion and it does state, ( i reluctantly admit) no sharing. But no where does it state, a double charge would be imposed. AND, it is ridiculous to imposed such rules when you come up with such promotions. Are they going to station one waiter to each table to observe our eating habits? Issit wrong for me to want to try my friend's dish? What qualifies as sharing anyway? Is nicking a piece of fried calamari from my friend's plate considered "sharing?". And the really ironic thing is, it's stated somewhere in the menu that Italian food is all about sharing. They even have some of their dishes that are meant for sharing. In fact, they have this plaque in the restaurant itself which reads : So Good, So Much, So Share. So much for their motto.

Also, just because we're ordering the promotional item doesn't mean they have the right to treat us like we dont matter. Firstly, if you can't handle the orders or the cost the promotion is costing you, then dont have it. Any food promotion is bound to be taken advantaged of. We are Malaysians after all.At the end of the day, you're supposed to be an expensive, established restaurant and should really treat your patrons better even if they are ordering the cheapest thing on the menu because you never know that one day, these are the patrons that might reserve your entire restaurant for a private function with some major celebrity. Or that you would never know that someone might be a food critic/reporter in disguise and would totally be disgusted at the way they were treated and would then make YOU suffer by writing a bad review on the restaurant, just like yours truly is now writing on this blog. But then again, do remember the Internet has the power to reach out to a wider audience and might just be enough to shut your restaurant down. Don't mess with hungry people, especially ANGRY hungry people.

Edited on 20 October 2006 @ 10.22pm
We decided to try out a different branch of the restaurant in One Utama. It was also the same day of the week where that particular promotion was being held. We were pleasantly surprised that this branch was so much better than the one that we've been to at The Curve. Its service was excellent. Staff was attentive and polite. The quality of the food was not compromised at all, and there was a max of like 15 minutes wait for the pasta to arrive and they only got one of the orders wrong and that was just on the type of pasta which is very forgiveable. They efficiently refilled our drinks and said nothing as we each tried each other's food. At the end of the meal, we couldnt' help ourselves, we just had to ask for a comment card. We wrote an entirely different review than the one we wrote before and commended them for the great service and the great food. The branch at The Curve has soo much to learn. Even so, I guess they wont be short of customers even with the terrible service and food as its a seriously happening area as opposed to the more quiet One Utama branch. But I loved the food so much that I foresee that I'll forgo people-watching and go for good food instead. We were very very pleased with the One Utama branch. Hehs. So yeah, don;t go to The Curve if you want to go to this restaurant. One Utama is the place to be!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tips from the Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect


And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!