Flirting for dummies

The basics of flirting... written by a dummy, and hopefully read by not so dumb people.. but anyway, the ancient art of flirting is a very delicate and refined art that needs practise and lots of guts. You've got to be daring if you want to win in this game. The cat and mouse game is very exciting and exhilarating and it thrills all your senses. You're completely flattered when someone shows interest, especially if it's someone great looking. So, there are certain things that you need to know to make it a perfect evening;

Pre flirting game requirements;
Dress appropriately. Not too formal (if it's a social outing), not too sloppy and not too casual. Keep it smart casual. Make sure you've put on a nice cologne/perfume. Comb your hair or at least style it properly and make sure you brush your teeth! No one likes bad breath. Carry tic tacs if you have to. For you men, put on a clean shirt. You ladies, flesh isn’t the in thing anymore. Try to wear something sophisticated and smart casual. Bear in mind that that doesn’t mean half naked. Another thing is to pick a good place as the cruising ground. That isn’t compulsory, but it'll be great and perhaps very romantic. Most importantly, BE CONFIDENT! (if not, act it!)

Anyhow, the most obvious rule is to make eye contact with the person you're cruising. Once you make contact, for the ladies, you could act coy. Give him a devilish and devious smile. As for the guys, it's generally expected for the guy to make the first move, so flash her... or him, your best smile. As for the girls, if you want to keep the flirting game going on, look away but keep the smile. Sneak a glance at him every once in a while and look interested, but don’t turn into a pooch and yap at his leg. You've got to act hard to get. Men who like to flirt love the chase. It makes them feel like they've won something and it was worth their while. Okay okay fine.. women are not 'things' or property men can own, but for this purpose, just let them men think so. You know what I mean. As for you men, make sure you keep her in sight and also make sure you're in hers. Go about doing whatever you were doing, but don’t ignore her. If she feels like she's not being given the right amount of attention, she might actually lose interest and move on. If you find someone not returning your glances, TAKE THE HINT! They aint interested. Move on! Fish fish fish.. fishes everywhere!

Once you've got eye contact and you've been playing the cat and mouse game for a bit and you know for sure that he or she is interested, maybe it's time for you to STOP ACTING SO CHILDISH AND GO TALK TO HER/HIM! DONT HET HER/HIM GET AWAY! Yeah... but not quite like that. No brisk walks, and no sudden movements. Casually walk over when she's not occupied (preferably the person with the pants should take the initiative). Maybe drop your best pick up line. Like... 'How many polar bears do you need to break the ice?' Ans;' None because you're so hot'. If she doesn’t laugh, you're on your own... Ok ok.. extremely lame, but you get the picture. Just as long as you don’t come up with something as lame as "Haven't I seen you around here before?". That is the oldest line in the book... please.. DO NOT USE. Only bad scriptwriters use that for soaps. Be original!

Anyhow, once you've started the conversation going, you're really on your own. I will bear no liability if this formula of basics does not work. Hope we have a big fish to eat tonight! *grin*

~The Recipe~

Char Koay Teow

Ingredients

1 tsp Salt
4 Eggs
2 tsp Garlic (pounded)
11 oz Koay teow (flat rice noodles)
11 oz Bean sprouts (washed and drained)
2 tbsp Soya sauce (dark)
1 pair Chinese sausages (sliced thinly and fried)
2 oz Chives (cut into 1-2 inches in length)
4 oz Cockles (shelled, un-cooked)
1-2 tbsp Sweet thick black sauce
Chilli sauce
Lard

Method

1. Dissolve salt in 6 tbsp water
2. Heat large wok until smoking hot
3. Add lard and fry garlic (till light brown)
4. Add rice noodles and bean sprouts
5. Add in salt water mixture and dark soya sauce
6. Stir-fry for 1/2 minute
7. Add 4 tbsp lard and scramble eggs
8. Add chilli sauce
9. Add sausages, and stir-fry for another minute
10.Add lard to sides of wok if necessary to avoid sticking
11.Make space in centre of noodles
12.Add cockles and cover with noodles
13.Add in chives and sweet thick black sauce
14.Stir-fry for 1/2 minute

Best when served hot