Soulmates - what are they?

My friend Jane, recently asked me a question, and then proceeded to blog about it. She asked me, whether I believe in "soulmates". At that point of time, I didnt ponder about the issue, I merely gave a haughty "no" and dismissed the question. This morning, I woke up, and had another chat with Jane and this time I seemed to have an opinion.

What exactly are soulmates? According to Jane, her friends defined Soulmates as your partner in love. Your lover. Your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically someone whom you are in love with and is apparently compatible with, hence the notion Soulmates. I supposed looking at it from an angle, would a Soulmate be defined as someone who will be together with you, as the saying goes "till death do us part"? Is your soulmate the person that you are totally in love with and who loves you back?

I prefer to look at the concept of soulmates as someone who might or might not be a lover. If you think about it and you think about relationships. Dont you think that relationships can be a tad pretentious? Im talking bout love related relationships. Do you remember the first date? The facade people put up. The makeup, the conversations, the effort put up so that your real self dont shine through? And if that succeed and there's a relationship, how many of us find ourselves trying to change the person we fell in love with as we gradually get to know some of their secret traits, those that were not evident during the period of courtship. And how many more of us puts up with such behaviour and try to change ourselves to accomodate what we might dislike about our "soulmate". How can the person we love, the person we sleep with be our soulmate if so much effort had to be put in to keep the relationship going?

Couldn't a soulmate be a best friend? Someone who knows you for who you are, and who will love you for it regardless and vice versa. SOmeone where you dont have to put a front or make any effort but still be loved and accepted and you in turn, accept and love that person for who he/she is. A soulmate is someone who complements you, who complete whatever you're lacking and with he/she around you're just better. Its like you're finally complete. Its not a mirror image of you. But of the qualities you lacked, he/she has. And for what he/she lacks, you possessed. So if literally, if you two were a jigsaw puzzle, if would be a perfect fit. There would be no need to trim the edges, or forcefully twist and bend the frame to fit. It is that missing piece of yourself, reflected in another and vice versa.

A soulmate may come and go, like friends and acquaintances. Just because someone sticks with you till the end, doesnt mean he/she was your soulmate. A lover, and a soulmate is something very different. Of course, there are times, when people are that lucky to be in love with their soulmates. But for me, soulmates are a different level. The threshold of mutual understanding between soulmates is so much higher than in any other relationships. Your soulmate may not be a permanent fixture in your life but to encounter another human being who complements your existence, is an encounter to cherish even if for a brief moment. And that, is my interpretation of Soulmates.