Char Kuey Teow For The Soul

Book Review : H is for Homicide

2009-05-17T04:01:00.003+01:00

I've decided to resurrect this blog as a reviews blog. It might work better than just a blog for random thoughts. This entry is interestingly not the first book review entry but hopefully it'll spark off a series of reviews and bring some life back into this blog.

From the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale, I brought myself more than 10 novels so this will probably be the first review of that book pile.

H is for Homicide is the first book I choose to read from the pile and the first book i've ever read by Sue Grafton. I've heard of Sue Grafton through recommendations by friends and through googling about detective/mystery stories.

Sue Grafton's book titles follows the Alphabet. I'm not quite sure how many she has written and whether she's reached the alphabet Z but I picked H for Homicide for the most obvious reasons. I love a good murder mystery.

So imagine my disappointment that the murder was just an incidental incident. Yes there was a murder, a body and then all else was forgotten, in a sense. Half way through the book, you don't even remember that there's been a murder. It plays such an insignificant part of the book that you really wonder why it was called H is for Homicide.

I"m alright with her writing style though her protagonist, Kinsey Millhone has what i would consider, a really boring job. She's attached to an insurance company and her job is to investigate potentially fraudulent insurance claims.

To be honest, i thought there was not enough "murder" or "mystery" in this book. Firstly, not enough attention was given to the murder. Something about needing to be low key about the murder for the bigger issue at hand. And the bigger issue at hand was an insurance scam. No mystery about it. There were some thrilling moments , when Kinsey's life was in danger but other than that, it was pretty straight forward.

So as a murder mystery it fails terribly. As a suspense novel, it did better. It had its moments but not the moments I look for in a good mystery novel. I doubt i'll be bothered to purchase Sue Grafton's other novels. As a novel by itself, without actually putting it in the murder mystery genre, I think I'll give it a 3 out of 5. At least i still manage to reach the last page.

Superstitions, Jinxes and Theories

2007-12-17T13:54:00.000Z

What are your thoughts on superstition? Do you believe in lucky charms? Do you believe in the unlucky number 13? Do you believe in doing or not doing certain things in order not to jeopardise another thing?

Let me share with you certain theories I've developed due to life experiences which may seem to be baseless , irrational and maybe downright ridiculous.

One "superstition" i have is that I never ever come out of an exam, exclaiming that the exam was a breeze and that I nailed it. I believe that you must always think that you did the absolute worse in the exam so as not to jinx your chances of getting a good grades. On hindsight, it was probably a safeguard against overconfidence and major disappointments if one ended up without the results that one expected.

Another one interesting theory i have is that if you're interested in someone, you shouldn't publicize it. You shouldn't gush about it, you shouldnt analyse it, you shouldnt ask your best friends about their opinion on the guy/gal. Instead, you should live in denial, telling yourself that you're not really into him/her and that he/she is just a friend and that it'll never be between the both of you. This sounds rather silly but i think it's true, judging from the fact that i have yet to get together with any of my crushes. So the next time im infatuated with someone, I'm gonna tape my mouth shut.

The next theory is quite typical. Your dreams will be the opposite of what will happen in real life. So, rejoice if you get a nightmare, eg. failing your exams, breaking up with a boyfriend and getting fired from work. Chances are, in real life, you're gonna get straight As, your boyfriend's gonna propose and you're getting a promotion at work. Woohoo. Dont' believe me? Try it out.

One last theory i've observed, which relates to "crushes". However, this is only from the female point of view. The guy that you're interested in, who seemed to enjoy your company because of your personality i.e that you're funny, bubbly and all that will always end up not with you but with the typical girl. By typical i mean, the kinda girl whose physical attributes consist of a slim body, long straight hair, big doe eyes who always seemed more or less helpless and always seemed to have either a low husky sweet voice or a high pitched whiny "manja" voice. They often don't seemed intelligent but that is a myth. And then thats when you want to pick up a knife and stab someone.

If you don't believe me or that you disagree with me, try it out for urself. Test out my theories and give me your feedback. Hehs.

Disclaimer : All thoughts expressed herein are my own personal views and thus shall not be construed as the thoughts of all or any member of society. I have nothing against "typical girls", well maybe a little but if you're getting all the good men drooling over you anyhow, im not really sorry.

Malaysia is 50 Years Old!

2007-08-30T00:41:00.000+01:00

In conjunction with Malaysia's 50th Birthday, I wanted to write about what it means to be Malaysian. I did write a few paragraphs and i just deleted it. Let me start again.

What is patriotism to a Malaysian? Issit sticking miniature Jalur Gemilangs on your cars? Issit decorating Kuala Lumpur with christmas lights? Issit braving the jam to witness the Merdeka Day Celebrations?

Why dont we look at being Malaysians from the viewpoint of a Malaysian student studying overseas? Or what it means to be a Malaysian for the younger generation. The younger generation and especially the Malaysian students who are overseas have gotten a lot of slack lately. They are often criticised for being unpatriotic, ungrateful and forgetting their asian roots.

Let me share with you how most Malaysian students are like overseas. We all know that Malaysians like to bitch about Malaysia and fellow Malaysians. But that dont mean we sit and keep our mouths shut when a non-Malaysian criticises our country and our people. We do not appreciate other people saying shit about the country. What we do is we tell them " Who are you to bitch about Malaysia? You have no right to bitch about Malaysia. You're not Malaysian!" You may not believe it but the sense of patriotrism is so much higher when we're not in Malaysia.

Being Malaysian in a foreign country means shameless promoting Malaysia in accordance with those tourism commercials which we have always found to be extremely corny. Like.. ohhh Malaysia is truly Asia. Or, Oh you've gotta visit the Orang Utan Sanctuary. And Malaysia have the tallest building in the world at one point, the Petronas Twin Towers. Oh Putrajaya is awesome. Oh we have amazing rainforests. Nevermind that the Malaysians themselves probably have never set foot in any of the attractions but doesnt mean we wont promote it shamelessly when the opportunity arises.

Being Malaysian also means believing that there is no where better than home. Eventhough it is disheartening at times to open the newspapers and to read utterly ridiculous news, there's always a glimmer of hope that things will always be better. Because we are a peaceful, tolerant and compromising country. All malaysians were brought up learning about how Malaysians have no natural disaster, save for the tsunami that happened recently. How we were blessed to not have typhoons, hurricanes, volcanoes eruption and earthquakes. All the little things to be thankful for.

Being Malaysian also means getting utterly excited about food. Food is what makes Malaysia. Malaysian food is unique and utterly amazing. Nasi Lemak, Durian, Char Kuey Teow, Roti Canai, Teh Tarik, Mee Bandung .. OmG.

No matter how awesome a foreign country may be, when your plane touches down in KLIA, a sense of relief comes over you. Yes. You're home. Forget clean toilets in Japan. Forget Louis Vuitton and Christian Dior in Paris. Forget Prince William in London.

A lot of people do not realise that deep within each Malaysian, there is a great sense of patriotism. It might not always be expressly obvious and it is always the younger generation that gets slacked off for being unpatriotic. But open your eyes.

Go to London and see the Malaysian students at Malaysian Hall. Go to Nottingham for the Malaysian Nottingham Games. Go to Facebook.com and you'll find groups like "I speak Manglish", " I love Malaysian Food". Listen to conversations between Malaysians and Non-Malaysians. Open your eyes and you'll see that patriotism is more than singing the national anthem and waving the national flag or reciting the Rukun Negara.

Happy Birthday Malaysia. There is a glimmer of hope yet.

Book Review : Confessions Of An Old Boy

2007-07-14T06:19:00.001+01:00

The 3rd book review on this blog and the 1st by a Malaysian author. Confessions of an Old Boy - The Dato' Hamid Adventures by Kam Raslan was a book which sparked a curious interest in me. I read reviews in the papers and was on the look out for it in the bookstores. In fact, I stumbled upon it on MPH Midvalley the other day and thought hard and long whether to buy it or not. It would have been an easier decision if I havent already bought 2 CDs by Malaysian artists - Poetic Ammo and Jason Lo. 3 "Malaysianised" items in a day would have been rather an overzealous show of patriotism on my part so I decided to put down the book for another day.

However, as fate would have it, the book made its way into my hands anyhow. The morning after that "patriotic day", my colleague waltzed into my room and handed the book to me. I had somehow forgotten that I've asked to borrow the book from him awhile ago. I was delighted yet torn as I was reading a murder mystery story at the moment and was dying to know whodunnit and wasnt quite ready to put it down. In the end I managed to speed read the last few chapters of that book and then quickly started flipping the pages of this purplish cover book.

Alrights, back to the book review. Im not a very good "reviewer" so bear with me. This is the first time I've read something "Malaysian". Ive even managed to avoid reading that "highly acclaimed" novel of Tash Aw, The Silk Factory or watever it's called. Although I had my expectations, I approached Confessions of an Old Boy with caution. I found that I was pleasantly surprised.

I like the style of writing. Simple but not too simple. The language used was like refined "Malaysian", not overly pretentious but of course nowhere near Manglish. The humour - oh the humour was interesting. It didn't have me in guffaws but at times, i'll find myself letting out a chuckle or a howl of laughter or a slight grin. The humour was there, but it was a rather subtle hidden kinda humour, understood only if you understand other things. It wasn't obvious and you wouldn't get it if you didn't know about certain things. I suspect there were a lot of other parts which would have been hilarious if i have more indepth knowledge.

The book had almost everything. Love, Murder, Politics. The chapter "Dato' in Love" was hilarious. And the chapter of Murder in Parit Chindai reads kinda like a Hercule Poirot mystery story. Its a good fun light reading book and at the same time its given me an insight to these "Anglophile Malays" and helped me imagined what it would be like to know someone like that. I would have found it all very interesting.

So the verdict? I like it. It feels real. It feels exactly like how it is depicted on the first page of the Preface which shows a picture of "Dato' Hamid" having tea with Kam Raslan. Reading the book makes you feel like you're sitting down having tea with "Dato" and he is telling you his life story and you are listening with your eyes wide open, laughing at the jokes, gasping at the right moments and reminiscing (and imagining) the past together with him . =)I now feel like I have a new and "real" friend in Dato' Hamid. I think i will go out and buy a copy of the book after all.

Wan Tan Mee Anonymous

2007-07-13T09:19:00.001+01:00

Losing Weight, Breaking Up , Living Life -It's All The Same

2007-07-09T01:48:00.000+01:00

I've had the privilege ( or disadvantage?) of reading two books back to back on the themes of Losing Weight and Breaking Up. I first read AJ Rochester's "The Lazy Girl's Guide To Losing Weight and Getting Fit" (hereinafter referred to as "The Lazy Guide") and then I read Gred Behrendt & Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt 's "It's Called A Breakup Because Its Broken".(hereinafter referred to as "Breakup Book")

Halfway through the Breakup Book, I was engulfed with a sense of deja vu. I felt that Ive read something similar just a few days ago. And I have. I was rather surprise to find that basically you can apply the same methods to losing weight and getting over a breakup. Wow. Isn't that such an amazing revelation? *roll eyes*

Here are similar things i found in both books.

1. Notebooks.
Both books advocate the use of notebooks to record food consumption, thoughts and feelings.

2. Cold Turkey
Stay away from that big piece of fried chicken. Stay away from that piece of shit/bloody asshole who dumped you or made you dump him.

3. Exercise
Exercise and you will lose excess fats and excess emotional baggage.

4. Crash and Burn
Its ok to eat 10 pizzas as long as you feel guilty and go back to celery. Its ok to have break up sex as long as you dont keep stalking him.

5. Alcohol
Stay away from alcohol. Alcohol is evil.

Reading these two books just amplifies my believe that "Self-Help" Books are utter rubbish. I have been on an endless quest to lose weight since I was 13 and have been nursing a broken heart for more than a year and a half now.

I didn't need a book to tell me what to do to lose weight. I didn't need a book to tell me that it is bad to skip meals, that it is better to choose veges over junk food, that exercise is vital that I have to pick myself up everytime I crash and burn.

When I broke up, I didn't need a book to tell me that it is good to have a little distance from The Ex. I didnt need a book to tell me not to call him for a period of time. I have had zero contact with The Ex since that fateful day.

To be honest, I think I can write a book. In fact, I can combine my experiences and write a 2 in 1 book. No, it'll be 3 in 1. I'll even tell you how to live your life. It'll have the same title as the title of this post. It'll be relatively shorter. I can use back the 5 common traits. The book will probably be a total of 10 pages long. One Cover Page. One Content Page. One Page where i thank all the good and bad people in my life. One page each for each trait, so thats' 5 pages already. One page where i tell you that the book is unnecessary if you have common sense. And one more page left for the back cover. How's that?

Like these people, I have been there. I've been on diet and lost weight and gain the weight back and then start trying to lose them again. I"ve had my heart broken into pieces but have more or less gotten over it. I might not have fully moved on but Im hoping to get there. And like I said, I didnt need no books to tell me how to deal with it. I used common sense and I used the rational part of my mind to battle with the emotional part. I also didn't feel a compelling need to write a book about it. I wish I had though. It would totally finance my retail therapy. Hehs.

But anyhow, these books are good for a bit of light reading and for people like me who have been there and done it all, can nod their heads in agreement or roll their eyes indignantly. Hehs. Anyways, i know i sound like i hate the books but I dont. It was light reading and at times good fun but at the same time, it doesnt tell me anything revolutionary or anything that I dont already know. But I guess it gives you the comfort that you're not alone and there's a lot of people who have been through what you're going through and that no matter how bleak your life may seemed at this point of time, you'll get over it. =b

of war and victory

2007-03-23T08:47:00.000Z

“Tonight, we dine in HELL” …. Do you wanna?
Okay I know some of you, or most of you for that matter, do not like blood. Or the sight of it. I am not blood-thirsty alright and hey if I like watching gory movies it doesn’t mean I wanna inculcate the act or that I am a freak.
Well I’ve never been an epic film fan to be exact, not an enthusiast. But with 300 - every frame in the movie is like a visual effect and with such photographic looks, even for those who know nuts about production and graphics will be wowed. I especially like the hue and colour effects of the whole entire film. And the endless merciless killing together with their oh-so-well-coordinated choreographed moves.

Be forewarned bout muscles overdose.
There’s Gerard Butler as King Leo with his ripped torso and well-defined biceps. And it's not body suit mind you, so move over Mr Daniel Craig and Mr Russell Crowe.
I have some guy friends who are into body building, and I can imagine the difficult training regime the cast of actors have gone through just to achieve that kinda bods.

Well yea I know, half naked musclemen running around and going to war…in sandals? And doses of cheesy lines and showcase of macho-ism?
Push aside cultural, politics, war propagandas and historic significance b'cos it's just a movie...really.

There are of course down-sides to the film but then again is there a perfect movie ever?
And have u ever seen such a beautiful death? Zack Snyder and Frank Miller, I'm in lurve.

the break-up

2007-01-16T02:35:00.000Z

Before we go any further, you need to make some promises to yourself. Raise your hand and repeat after me...

I, (state your name), do, hereby, solemnly swear that I will not behave in the manner of a crazy ex-girlfriend. I will not participate in foolish or destructive behavior. I promise to act in a dignified fashion and that means I will not do stupid things, no matter how I might rationalize them. Therefore, I vow the following:

1. I will not call him. No matter what good or bad news I think he should hear only from me, I will not call him. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him. I will not call him even to get my stuff. I'll have a friend do that, preferably via email.
2. I will not email him. Not even an innocent and rather funny group email forward. I will not email him simply to give him back his stuff. I will not contact him at all.
3. I will not frequent the places I know he goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I acknowledge that this is not a pissing contest about territory. I know going to such places will hurt more than it will help. Until there has been some space and time between us, going to those places is asinine, can be viewed as stalker-ish and will be painful only to me.
4. I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to him when they see him in public to let him know he is a jerk and he'll never do better than me, or to share that I am looking fabulous, got a promotion, bought a new house and am dating George Clooney (or the regional equivalent thereof).
5. I will screen all of my calls. I will get caller ID, if necessary, and put "private call block" on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is and am sure it's not him. All other calls will go to voicemail.
6. I will not take his phone calls. I repeat, I will not take his calls.
7. I will not return his phone calls or emails. If he is "just checking" to see how I am, I know he is really just checking to see if I think he's a jackass. He is looking for an ego stroke, not to get back together, and I know this because he did not start out the communication with, "I am sorry. I made a mistake. I want us to get back together."
8. I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers and the like. The only professional guidance I will seek will be that of a licensed therapist or member of the clergy.
9. I will not believe this is temporary. I will see this as permanent until proven otherwise by concrete actions, immense apologies and couple's therapy.
10. I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.

I promise to abide by these vows for at least thirty (30) days, or until I have gotten over him, whichever is longer. This is about me feeling better and that has nothing to do with him.
This I do affirm. So help me.

Signed:
Date:

I find this excerpt quite funny (and yea yea I don't give a damn that we might not share the same type of humor). Anyways, NO I did not purchase the book and will have no intention to buy it.

To those who loved and had lost love, there are still plenty of fishes in the sea (omg who am I kidding?!) Hhmmm this is quite a psychotic entry I must admit.

tete-a-tete

2006-12-11T03:43:00.000Z

nowadays i tend to avoid large crowds and over-commercialised places. i no longer spend a hefty RM12+ for one drink (and yea, btw the food ain't that great) just to people-watch. i think it is the age but some people tell me otherwise.

have u been here lately for a cuppa?
it's not some newly-discovered place 'cos the last i've checked, quite a number of people have been to this place. but i would say after your first visit there is a tendency to forget about secret recipe, la manila and perhaps dome. what more can you ask for: good food, cheap price. ok not exactly CHEAP cheap but reasonable.

don't everything tend to be commercialised after a while? after all it is a business entity and when one gets into a business, the owner wants to see the moolah rolling in. we'll just have to wait and see whether they'll be more branches coming up.
but as of now, i am not complaining.

Pass the Security Blanket

2006-10-20T09:32:00.000+01:00

char kuey teow, anyone?

Have u ever wondered why some people are so insecure in their lives that they end up doing some of the silliest things to try and provide their own selves with a false sense of security? It becomes especially true when it's insecurity in a romantic relationship, where one party feels that they cannot equal their partner's good looks/great charms/popularity with the opposite sex.

It's perfectly normal to be insecure sometimes. Everyone gets hit by that pang of "What if?" every once in a while. In fact when i first started going out with my current partner i felt pretty insecure, coz he seemed to be particularly well-liked and popular with the female crowd. However, all it took was some time, a little discussion and the most important element in a relationship - trust - before i got over my little insecurities.

However, in the recent days i have noticed insecurities present themselves to me in different forms. Not my personal insecurities, but those of others'. And trust me, it can be more awkward

than not. Like in the case of where someone thinks you're trying to steal their partner and thus goes on and makes a public statement (or many, many statements for that matter) that their lover is so intensely in love with them, that they only have eyes for each other etc. And sometimes it's a bit of an information overload.

The root of the matter was that you never had any intention to be a thief anyway. But the insecure mind had become so twisted that something which was so unconnected with that fact was already a different picture in their mind. And it's sad that they are so insecure that they have to resort to ways which, for lack of better word, actually deadbolt their partner to themselves. There are limits to every relationship, and to everything you can or cannot do in a relationship. But if at the end of the day the limits which have been set are so unrealistic they are not workable, even the strongest of deadbolts will undo.

Sometimes you just need to sit back and tell yourself (not the whole wide world) that your partner really loves you for YOU. And in spite of the fact that there are millions of individuals out there who are more beautiful, more attractive, smarter, more eloquent etc. at the end of the day he or she still chose YOU. And chose to remain with YOU. Therefore if there's any threat whatsoever to the "great" relationship which you are in now, it could well be your own sense of insecurity that's posing that threat.

Live life and love one day at a time, and never try and rush things. You'd be surprised at some of the results you might obtain. And just because certain people don't publicly tell their partners they love them, doesnt mean they don't. Cheers.

Soulmates - what are they?

2006-10-07T03:04:00.000+01:00

My friend Jane, recently asked me a question, and then proceeded to blog about it. She asked me, whether I believe in "soulmates". At that point of time, I didnt ponder about the issue, I merely gave a haughty "no" and dismissed the question. This morning, I woke up, and had another chat with Jane and this time I seemed to have an opinion.

What exactly are soulmates? According to Jane, her friends defined Soulmates as your partner in love. Your lover. Your husband/boyfriend/girlfriend. Basically someone whom you are in love with and is apparently compatible with, hence the notion Soulmates. I supposed looking at it from an angle, would a Soulmate be defined as someone who will be together with you, as the saying goes "till death do us part"? Is your soulmate the person that you are totally in love with and who loves you back?

I prefer to look at the concept of soulmates as someone who might or might not be a lover. If you think about it and you think about relationships. Dont you think that relationships can be a tad pretentious? Im talking bout love related relationships. Do you remember the first date? The facade people put up. The makeup, the conversations, the effort put up so that your real self dont shine through? And if that succeed and there's a relationship, how many of us find ourselves trying to change the person we fell in love with as we gradually get to know some of their secret traits, those that were not evident during the period of courtship. And how many more of us puts up with such behaviour and try to change ourselves to accomodate what we might dislike about our "soulmate". How can the person we love, the person we sleep with be our soulmate if so much effort had to be put in to keep the relationship going?

Couldn't a soulmate be a best friend? Someone who knows you for who you are, and who will love you for it regardless and vice versa. SOmeone where you dont have to put a front or make any effort but still be loved and accepted and you in turn, accept and love that person for who he/she is. A soulmate is someone who complements you, who complete whatever you're lacking and with he/she around you're just better. Its like you're finally complete. Its not a mirror image of you. But of the qualities you lacked, he/she has. And for what he/she lacks, you possessed. So if literally, if you two were a jigsaw puzzle, if would be a perfect fit. There would be no need to trim the edges, or forcefully twist and bend the frame to fit. It is that missing piece of yourself, reflected in another and vice versa.

A soulmate may come and go, like friends and acquaintances. Just because someone sticks with you till the end, doesnt mean he/she was your soulmate. A lover, and a soulmate is something very different. Of course, there are times, when people are that lucky to be in love with their soulmates. But for me, soulmates are a different level. The threshold of mutual understanding between soulmates is so much higher than in any other relationships. Your soulmate may not be a permanent fixture in your life but to encounter another human being who complements your existence, is an encounter to cherish even if for a brief moment. And that, is my interpretation of Soulmates.

Love, perhaps?

2006-10-06T11:20:00.000+01:00

First and foremost, as the newbie in town i would like to thank Lyn for inviting me to blog here. So as to not dissapoint frequent readers & writers of this blog, i decided to think long and hard before making my first post : )

Thankfully, inspiration came to me last nite. In the form of a television programme.

I am sure that everybody alive in Malaysia now would have heard, if not watched the local reality TV series - Cornetto Love? Perhaps : P I know that its extremely cheesy and i vouched never to watch it, but unfortunately there was nothing else better to bore my brain with last nite. And so i watched.

All the while whilst chanting LOSER...LOSER... (no offence to those diehard fans of the shows or of the boys) I mean...first if u even bother to check their website for the boys' profiles, you will find that they actually display their Friendster User IDs there!! omigod. Of all corniness. But wait. That's not the best part. The ice-cream (pun intended) to this cake will have to be the programme's own Friendster account !!!!! Eeeeek.

And when u watch the show, you'll realise how bad it is. The filming, the boys, the girls. I mean, all the boys are as Malaysian as "lah" can get. But the girlsss - looking at their pics yeah they look like your typical lah-girl. But once they open their mouths : oooh. There's one for each continent. One sounds American, one takes on a Brit accent and another one fakes an Aussie. Jeez... and apart from the bad filming, i think the cameraman really likes Shree. Why? Coz i dont see the other girls' faces as much as i see hers : P

All in all i think the show sucks. Plainly because in terms of the girls, the host Stephanie Chai has to be the most eligible. Yeah, go ahead and pick a gorgeous host. And the guys? Erm...i wont say too much coz some ppl might know them and two of them even hail from my hometown. But let's just say they should keep their shirts & shades on. Oh and for some, their mouths shut.

Yup - it's really sad what people do in the name of fame these days (dont even start about the finding true love n all bit. winner takes home a car for gawd's sakes).

Back to the drawing board.

No such thing as good, cheap food

2006-10-05T01:35:00.000+01:00

There we were, strutting confidently into the doorway, and we were engulfed with the aroma of fresh Italian herbs, no doubt from the fresh bread that is served before every meal. We sat confidently and comfortably at the table allocated for us. And there we sat and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. And waited.

A sense of deja vu began to envelope us. We've been here before. We've been in this situation before. WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS THE FOOD?

We were there for their Neverending Pasta deal on Wednesday. 19.90++ for all the pasta you can eat. It was a good deal and they had awesome pasta. But for the 2 or 3 times we've been there, everything was a horrendous disappointment. The first helping of pasta usually comes quick enough. Within 30 minutes or so. The next order will take about an hour. And that is with constant reminders to the waiters, who by the way, will come to your table , utter the customary , "yes?" and when we enquire about the food, will usually start giving a blank uncomfortable look, swings his head left and right , mutter an incomprehensible phrase and then walk off. Those that actually said , "oh, i'll check on it for you", will never come back and update us with the status of the food.

The first time it happened, we thought, oh wells, probably it was just a busy night. We'll cut them some slack. Yesterday however, was utterly disappointing. The first pasta order came more than an hour late and they got the orders wrong. For some reason, they cant seemed to put the right pasta in it. If you want fettucine, they give you linguine. If you want linguine, they give you angel hair. If you want penne, they give you spaghetti. Whats the deal with that?? Also, the food quality, eg taste, seemed to deteriorate as the night drags on.

We've also encountered terribly rude waiters who stands there with a sullen look, reprimanding us by stating that "you're not allowed to share your food or you'll be charged double". Where the heck does it state in the menu that we will be charged for sharing. I know theres a little tiny line that states that its an individual portion and it does state, ( i reluctantly admit) no sharing. But no where does it state, a double charge would be imposed. AND, it is ridiculous to imposed such rules when you come up with such promotions. Are they going to station one waiter to each table to observe our eating habits? Issit wrong for me to want to try my friend's dish? What qualifies as sharing anyway? Is nicking a piece of fried calamari from my friend's plate considered "sharing?". And the really ironic thing is, it's stated somewhere in the menu that Italian food is all about sharing. They even have some of their dishes that are meant for sharing. In fact, they have this plaque in the restaurant itself which reads : So Good, So Much, So Share. So much for their motto.

Also, just because we're ordering the promotional item doesn't mean they have the right to treat us like we dont matter. Firstly, if you can't handle the orders or the cost the promotion is costing you, then dont have it. Any food promotion is bound to be taken advantaged of. We are Malaysians after all.At the end of the day, you're supposed to be an expensive, established restaurant and should really treat your patrons better even if they are ordering the cheapest thing on the menu because you never know that one day, these are the patrons that might reserve your entire restaurant for a private function with some major celebrity. Or that you would never know that someone might be a food critic/reporter in disguise and would totally be disgusted at the way they were treated and would then make YOU suffer by writing a bad review on the restaurant, just like yours truly is now writing on this blog. But then again, do remember the Internet has the power to reach out to a wider audience and might just be enough to shut your restaurant down. Don't mess with hungry people, especially ANGRY hungry people.

Edited on 20 October 2006 @ 10.22pm
We decided to try out a different branch of the restaurant in One Utama. It was also the same day of the week where that particular promotion was being held. We were pleasantly surprised that this branch was so much better than the one that we've been to at The Curve. Its service was excellent. Staff was attentive and polite. The quality of the food was not compromised at all, and there was a max of like 15 minutes wait for the pasta to arrive and they only got one of the orders wrong and that was just on the type of pasta which is very forgiveable. They efficiently refilled our drinks and said nothing as we each tried each other's food. At the end of the meal, we couldnt' help ourselves, we just had to ask for a comment card. We wrote an entirely different review than the one we wrote before and commended them for the great service and the great food. The branch at The Curve has soo much to learn. Even so, I guess they wont be short of customers even with the terrible service and food as its a seriously happening area as opposed to the more quiet One Utama branch. But I loved the food so much that I foresee that I'll forgo people-watching and go for good food instead. We were very very pleased with the One Utama branch. Hehs. So yeah, don;t go to The Curve if you want to go to this restaurant. One Utama is the place to be!

Tips from the Hormone Hostage

2006-10-03T06:02:00.000+01:00

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more wine.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks .... but Chocolate SINGS!!!

It's the hardest thing in the world ...........

2005-11-27T16:46:00.000Z

.....to be apart from someone you love. I am paraphrasing a dialog from a movie I watched today. Beethoven 2 to be exact. What do you think off when you hear such a phrase being uttered? It is rather obvious isnt it? Long distance relationships.

I have met a lot of people who do not believe in long distanced relationships. I myself was one of those people. Back when I was still a teenager. 17, and thought I knew everything there was to know about the world. I am 22 now, and sometimes things do change. Irony is what happens when you think you know what you want and how your life will turn out. When I turned 18, I fell in love and it changed my life, my views and myself.

For 4 years I sustained a relationship across oceans and time zones. It is always hard at first, emotionally and physically to get used to not having the one you love beside you. But after a year, you get used to the lack of physicality in the relationship. You're contented with emails and phone calls and letters. In fact, my first year, had really minimal phone calls. I think there was just 2 phone calls. The entire relationship was held together through the internet. ICQ, MSN, HOTMAIL. After that, the later years were easier, but it resulted in skyhigh phonebills and expensive plane tickets on both side. But there is really no describing the feeling of happiness whenever you get a chance to meet up.

As the years get by, more and more people started telling me and asking me the same thing. "How do you do it?". I told most of them that the most important thing was "trust". And yes, i do think that is the major ingredient. The need for both parties to believe and trust in each other to remain monogamous. But also, long distance relationships need a lot of effort on both parties. I believe that if two people believe in each other, believe in love, and make the effort, they can pull through. Maybe I dont believe love conquers all but I do believe that it takes two to tango.

At this stage of my life, this period I am going through. I wonder whether all those people who think that long distance relationships dont work out are right. Because, for whatever reason, my own relationship did not survive. But somehow, I never believe that distance was the reason for the breakdown of my relationship. Maybe it did play a part but somehow or other, it doesnt feel like it. To me, distance was a bump in the road, one that can be overcome and not a dead end.

Even today, when people tell me that they do not want to pursue a relationship with someone who could not be physically with them in the same place, I feel a little disappointed, defensive even. Because I've been there. I know that some things are possible and the least people could do is to give it a chance. Give love a chance. Take that risk. And though it did not work for me, im sure it has worked for some people. BUt even so, till today, i do not believe that it was distance that tore me and my ex apart.

Of course, nothing beats being physically together with your loved one. And if given the chance, I would probably NOT want my next relationship to be liked my first one. I wouldnt' want another long distance relationship. Because it is true, the hardest thing in the world is being apart from someone you love. But, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. Same goes for love I guess.

What do you think of me?

2005-11-02T04:28:00.000Z

While watching the episode “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” on SATC (that’s Sex and The City for those uninformed) a while ago, I was struck by an interesting point. In that episode, the main character lied to her boyfriend about her having an abortion before because she was afraid of what he might think of her, afraid that he will think less of her, afraid that the perfect picture he has of her will be tarnished. In other words, she was afraid of being judged by him.

Which is interesting. Because that’s what a lot of us are afraid of when facing society, no? Why are we so afraid to be judged? And why do we judge?

And it doesn’t matter if it was a stranger on the street or your best friend. It doesn’t matter if one doesn’t know who you are and you will probably never see him/her again . Neither does it matter the other practically grew up with you. You still wonder what the perception of the other party is. You refrain from saying or acting a certain way because you do not want to smudge the image already formed in the person’s mind.

I think it is because of this fear that explains part of my nature of being such a private person. I chose who I tell my secrets too. I chose who I tell my daily life to. I chose who I share my happiness and sadness with.

Perhaps I’m afraid when I tell you I went out clubbing; you would think I am a party animal. Perhaps I’m afraid if I told you I studied, you would think of me as a nerd. Perhaps I fear you think I’m arrogant and no longer care about home if I told you I started working here. Perhaps I fear you think I am a failure if I told you where I work.

Neverending list. When can we finally be truly ourselves? What does that even mean?

Ramblings of an insane mind

2005-08-27T17:49:00.000+01:00

Have you ever been in a room full of people yet feel like you are the loneliest person in the world? People flirting, dancing, singing and chatting. Yet, try as you might, you are only able to muster a fake smile.

Have you ever been the person outside the circle? You know; the circle of friends/acquaintances - where each and every one understands the private joke shared; all except you. For you are the little insignificant bird on the window sill; close enough to hear what’s being said, but unable to understand what’s being said. Sure they pretend that you are part of the circle, they let you hop around, sometimes they talk to you …..but bird speak ain’t human speak.

Have you ever been made to feel incredibly small by your closest bestest friends? The feeling that just stabs you right in the heart; makes you wish the earth would just open and eat you up right there and then.

Been there, done that. And I’m tired. Give me strength…or I might just decide to become a hermit.

Krispy Kreme

2005-08-18T19:40:00.000+01:00

Krispy Kreme doughnuts are unparallaled. No other doughtnuts are as amazing as the Original Glazed Krispy Kreme Donuts. Dunkin Donuts? *blehs* puhleeze. I never even looked at Dunkin Donuts. Was never tempted to. I was never a big fan of donuts, and I didnt know what the big fuss was about when I was told about this amazing glazed donut. Now, I'm a faithful follower of the Krispy Kreme ways.

If you try talking to someone about Krispy Kreme donuts, there are only 2 different reponses you can get. One is you get a blank stare (which is good. More for the rest of us). If not, the fellow krispy kremer would start talking about how amazing krispy kreme donuts are... and if you observe long enough, maybe he or she might stare of into the distance and start salivating.. like Homer Simpson.

Founded in 1937 by Vernon Rudolph in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Krispy Kreme only reached the Big Apple in 1995. It never looked back. Krispy Kreme have ventured out to eastern shores. The "fragrance of hot dough-meets-sugar envelopes you in warmth and then guides you over to the room-length windows to watch the wonderful Krispy Kreme doughnut-making machine at work." (Taquitos.net)

The dough journeys round a bicycle-chain like series of platform chambers where they gradually puff up and become all grown up. Then they dive into hot oil and their transformation from dough to Krispy Kreme donuts. Once browned, they trundle up a conveyor and finally parade through a grand sugar-glazing waterfall.

Nothing tastes as heavenly as a fresh krispy kreme straight off the converyor belt. It practically melts in your mouth... one of the few previews of what's served in heaven. A piece of heaven really. No matter how many times you've had Krispy Kreme, you always want more. It's simply orgasmic! You just want to melt along with the glaze.

However, they'd better rethink that costs of theirs... I dont think anyone would want to buy a RM7 doughnut!

So, what is love anyway?

2005-08-03T17:33:00.000+01:00

This four letter word L.O.V.E. is a strange word. Some say its not even a word, but its a feeling. But some people argue we choose what we feel. So can we choose to feel love?

Love is indeed a strange thing. It can make a person do crazy things. Love is an opposite of sorts. Love can make one cry, and it can make one laugh. Love can be kind, but love can also be cruel. Love can be heaven one day, and hell the next day. Love can be happy, love can be sad. How do one deal with love?

Do you pay tribute to the proverb " Dance like no one's watching, love like you're never going to get hurt"? I dunno about you but I dont think my heart can take being broken multiple times.Once or twice, it is still possible to take out the glue and stick them back, but each time its get broken, the hearts get more fragile, and can easily break again.

Or do you keep your heart tightly under wraps. Protecting it, closing it to the world hence closing it to the risk of damage. Waiting for a worthy soul that will take special care in unwrapping such a delicate thing. And when do you know who is worthy? What guarantees are there? They say there are no guarantees in life. An enemy can one day turn into a lover and vice versa.

Do you hold true to the notion that "Love Conquers All". Believe that no matter what, things will work out, that love is a power so strong that it will over come any obstacles.

How about the song "Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough". Is this a more realistic notion to hold true to? That in this material world, that simple love is insufficient to hold a relationship together. That even if two people loves each other, a lot, that it may still not work out.

I have a lot of questions on love. Love can be easy sometimes but most of the time, its really hard. It is hard to understand love. Love is blind they say. As someone clever once sang ," when your heart's on fire, you must realise , smoke gets in your eyes".

Is love worth it? What is the price to pay for the chance to experience true love? A broken heart? Is love really worth that risk ? Issit really better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all? But if you never loved, you cant miss what you never had can you?

So where does that lead us to? More complications. More questions. No answers. Can there really be no answer to what love is? That it just is ? Love is just love. No explanation. Love can be such a heartache. Love can be so depressing. Yet everyday, there is someone out there willing to take that risk and plunge themselves into this thing called Love because maybe that risk is really worth taking.

What is life?

2005-06-05T05:11:00.000+01:00

As I was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror,a thought hit me, So, What is life anyway? The ultimate question, one that will hit everyone at one point of time or another.

What is the purpose of us being alive? My first answer would be, we're put on this world to suffer. Why else is there a concept of heaven and hell. We're the middle base isnt it. Life - suffering. Hell- more suffering. Heaven - no suffering.

We go through life, doing and planning things for the future. As a young student, we want to pass our exams, get good grades and get into a good uni. In uni, we strife to get that piece of paper that will apparently guarantee us a good job and a good life ahead. When we're working, we work hard to put food on the table, to afford all the materialistic aspects of life. And along the way, we forge relationships with other human beings. We fall in love, out of love, we make friends, we have babies.

At the same time, life doesnt necessarily journey along happily in that order. It seldom works out the way you plan it. Life has a sneaky way of making shit happens when you least expect it. Just when you think that you've done all you can to ensure a better future, a good life, eternal happiness, bang, the shit starts dropping. Maybe you've been diagnosed with cancer. Maybe you're fired. Maybe you lose a loved one. Maybe you get robbed.

They say life is beautiful? Issit? Beautiful in a tragic way maybe. Everything living has to breathe its last breath one day. Death is inescapable. We work hard for the future and one day it will all be gone and over with. Why put us here in this world in the first place then?

Life sucks.

He's just not that into you?

2005-01-26T13:09:00.000Z

"He's just not that into you" is a book written by the writers of Sex and the City. A phrase that was used in one of the episodes which i can surprisingly recall quite clearly. It was when Miranda was complaining about some guy she was dating, and Berger, Carrie's then boyfriend, just told her that that guy was "just not that into you". What a revelation!

So basically, this is how guys are like. If they dont call you straight away, if they dont wanna marry you, if they dont stand up for you,if they're not asking you out, if they're married, if they're cheating, then they're just not that into you. Apparently, this new knowledge is supposed to be a powerful tool for women. In what way? They explain that since women now know when a man is "not that into them", they will then not waste their time concocting excuses for those men and move on with their life and find someone that appreciates them the way that they deserve to be appreciated.

The way i see it, knowing that a guy is just not that into you is a very depressive situation. After reading the book and assuming that this Greg fella is correct, then the conclusion is that there was not one time in my life that a guy was "into me". So does that make me feel liberated? Does that make me feel relieved? Does that make me move on with my life? Of course not! If i cant dwell on guys and the weird signals that emit from them, what do i do then?

The natural thing for women to do at this stage would then be to ponder on why men are "just not into them". This will then begin a series of self-loathing activities as women wondered whether it was because they were not beautiful enough, smart enough, bimbo-ish enough for men to be interested in them. The book tells you that if the asshole couldnt see your beauty, then there's no point in being with them. But if an asshole dont even think you're beautiful, what makes you think a good man will? If you're not good enough for an asshole, would you be good enough for the perfect man?

Reading the book has got me thinking about my past encounters with the other side. Granted that there werent that many encounters but nevertheless, its not a great feeling when you find out that you were reading the signs wrongly in many of your situations which involve the male species. You then feel like a black hole, sinking into nothingness, emptiness. You'll feel ugly, used, stupid, angry,hopeless. Yes hopeless. How can there be hope anymore if you can't tell yourself that the reason he is not calling is because he was busy handing in an assignment. Where's the hope if you cant tell yourself that the reason he is not breaking up with you is because he still loves you when in actual fact, he's not that into you and is waiting for you to do the dirty work?Tell me then, how can one still have hope after reading this book?

Do not waste the pretty, Greg tells us. However, I will tell you to read this book with a pinch of salt and have a few laughs about it. Take it seriously if you want to. That's your choice. I on the other hand cannot handle such crude honesty ( that is if everything he says about guys is true), and prefers then to indulge myself into believing that ignorance is bliss, happiness is oblivion. Though at the back of my mind, there's a nagging voice saying ............ "he is just not that into you!"

-adrenalyn-

Flirting for dummies

2005-01-20T18:42:00.000Z

The basics of flirting... written by a dummy, and hopefully read by not so dumb people.. but anyway, the ancient art of flirting is a very delicate and refined art that needs practise and lots of guts. You've got to be daring if you want to win in this game. The cat and mouse game is very exciting and exhilarating and it thrills all your senses. You're completely flattered when someone shows interest, especially if it's someone great looking. So, there are certain things that you need to know to make it a perfect evening;

Pre flirting game requirements;
Dress appropriately. Not too formal (if it's a social outing), not too sloppy and not too casual. Keep it smart casual. Make sure you've put on a nice cologne/perfume. Comb your hair or at least style it properly and make sure you brush your teeth! No one likes bad breath. Carry tic tacs if you have to. For you men, put on a clean shirt. You ladies, flesh isn’t the in thing anymore. Try to wear something sophisticated and smart casual. Bear in mind that that doesn’t mean half naked. Another thing is to pick a good place as the cruising ground. That isn’t compulsory, but it'll be great and perhaps very romantic. Most importantly, BE CONFIDENT! (if not, act it!)

Anyhow, the most obvious rule is to make eye contact with the person you're cruising. Once you make contact, for the ladies, you could act coy. Give him a devilish and devious smile. As for the guys, it's generally expected for the guy to make the first move, so flash her... or him, your best smile. As for the girls, if you want to keep the flirting game going on, look away but keep the smile. Sneak a glance at him every once in a while and look interested, but don’t turn into a pooch and yap at his leg. You've got to act hard to get. Men who like to flirt love the chase. It makes them feel like they've won something and it was worth their while. Okay okay fine.. women are not 'things' or property men can own, but for this purpose, just let them men think so. You know what I mean. As for you men, make sure you keep her in sight and also make sure you're in hers. Go about doing whatever you were doing, but don’t ignore her. If she feels like she's not being given the right amount of attention, she might actually lose interest and move on. If you find someone not returning your glances, TAKE THE HINT! They aint interested. Move on! Fish fish fish.. fishes everywhere!

Once you've got eye contact and you've been playing the cat and mouse game for a bit and you know for sure that he or she is interested, maybe it's time for you to STOP ACTING SO CHILDISH AND GO TALK TO HER/HIM! DONT HET HER/HIM GET AWAY! Yeah... but not quite like that. No brisk walks, and no sudden movements. Casually walk over when she's not occupied (preferably the person with the pants should take the initiative). Maybe drop your best pick up line. Like... 'How many polar bears do you need to break the ice?' Ans;' None because you're so hot'. If she doesn’t laugh, you're on your own... Ok ok.. extremely lame, but you get the picture. Just as long as you don’t come up with something as lame as "Haven't I seen you around here before?". That is the oldest line in the book... please.. DO NOT USE. Only bad scriptwriters use that for soaps. Be original!

Anyhow, once you've started the conversation going, you're really on your own. I will bear no liability if this formula of basics does not work. Hope we have a big fish to eat tonight! *grin*

2005-01-18T14:57:00.000Z

"Hawkers - our friends" ~DuNgu~

If Char Kuey Teow be the food of love, hand me another plate!!!

2005-01-18T03:49:00.000Z

Chicken soup or Char Kuey Teow? Personally, I'd pick Char Kuey Teow. You see, in chicken soup, you've only got chicken… and soup, whereas in Char Kuey Teow, you've got kuey teow, prawns, bean sprouts, lap cheong (chinese sausage), and whatever else you can possibly imagine. Then again, maybe it's cause at heart, I'm more of a char kuey teow person.You dont hear people ordering "Uncle! One chicken soup!" It's unheard of. "Aunty! One Char kuey teow! More taugeh!" sounds right. True to the spirit of the food lovers united.

But what is food if you don't have the right company to enjoy it with? It is statistically proven that the favorite past time of people who live to eat include taking long baths with scented candles and watching movies. However, top billing for the favorite past time activity goes to having a scrumptuous meal with your circle of best friends. The updating (better known as the gossiping) , the opinions (or the bitching), the "light conversations" or rather, the crapping and teasing is a certainty and the spice of the meal. Food and friends. That pretty much sums up what life is all about…Until you get married with children that is, then it's food (if you're lucky), bills, your spouse and children (and maybe the dog/cat). Whatever it is, if we can’t have have char kuey teow and talk, we’ll talk about char kuey teow and every other topic here! I'm sure there's always time to get your butt online and say something nice about Char Kuey Teow.

So here we are. At the cross roads of a new blog that has the name of a hawker dish, very much loved and adored by all of us. This blog is dedicated to the young at heart, to the hawker food lovers, and last but not least, the bloggers/crappers. Move aside chicken soup! I need Char Kuey Teow to save my soul!!

~DuNgu~

~The Recipe~

2005-01-18T02:27:00.000Z

Char Koay Teow

Ingredients

1 tsp Salt
4 Eggs
2 tsp Garlic (pounded)
11 oz Koay teow (flat rice noodles)
11 oz Bean sprouts (washed and drained)
2 tbsp Soya sauce (dark)
1 pair Chinese sausages (sliced thinly and fried)
2 oz Chives (cut into 1-2 inches in length)
4 oz Cockles (shelled, un-cooked)
1-2 tbsp Sweet thick black sauce
Chilli sauce
Lard

Method

1. Dissolve salt in 6 tbsp water
2. Heat large wok until smoking hot
3. Add lard and fry garlic (till light brown)
4. Add rice noodles and bean sprouts
5. Add in salt water mixture and dark soya sauce
6. Stir-fry for 1/2 minute
7. Add 4 tbsp lard and scramble eggs
8. Add chilli sauce
9. Add sausages, and stir-fry for another minute
10.Add lard to sides of wok if necessary to avoid sticking
11.Make space in centre of noodles
12.Add cockles and cover with noodles
13.Add in chives and sweet thick black sauce
14.Stir-fry for 1/2 minute

Best when served hot

The art of bitching

2005-01-18T01:09:00.000Z

Sitting around, eating and drinking with people that appreciate the same things as yourself is probably the best experience one could have. I have always enjoyed hanging out with people who loves food. However, you must have the right group of people to eat with, and bitch with. I admit I am guilty of being a compulsive bitcher - I love to talk about other people.

I think being a "bitcher' is a form of art. You must know when to say the right things and who to say it too. It is not advisable to launch into a bitching session in a "yum cha" session with people that you may not know so well. Chances are, they could end up being the best friend, boyfriend or cousin of the person you're bitching about. Remember that the world is small, everyone is connected in some way or another.

If you want to be a bitcher, first thing is, you need to find a fellow bitcher. This is rather tricky. Unless you have a good friend who mirrors your thoughts and views, it may be difficult. Of course you can test the waters first. When you go out with a person, ask them about their opinions on other people. If they launch into attack a la Bush style, they can be a promising candidate. However if their response is, "I dont really know that person well enough to give a comment," stay clear. The art of bitching does not involve you knowing that person well. In fact the less you know of the person, the more you're supposed to bitch about them. However, be vary too about those who willingly go into details of other people's lives. They may not be trusted and could backstab you with stories about you as well. So its all very complicated.

Assuming that you have your trusty ally to bitch with, yes you need another person, you cant bitch on your own. Then you need to find a place to practice your bitching. Pick a popular hangout, for newbies, go to a crowded coffee place, sit yourself (and your ally) in a spot where you could see everyone walking around. Then start. The easiest place to start is with the way people dress. As your bitching skills improve, you'll find yourself speculating about your victim's job, love life and even their parents. When you've reached that stage, its about time you move to the next level, bitching about people that you actually know. Some people interchange and start with bitching about real people before moving on to strangers. But personally i think its easier with strangers first, as you are less emotionally attached to them. If you're not sure, try both and move on from there.

You also need to acquire the skill of checking out people without looking like you are. Never instantly turn your head when your ally points out a potential victim. Always wait a few seconds, pretend to say something, and naturally flip your head to the correct angle and steal a glance. This comes with a lot of practice. So maybe sit with a couple of friends and practice it.

These are the main stuff that you need to master if you want to become a top class bitcher. Of course you must maintain some sorta control or limit. You do not want everyone in the world to hate you and because no man is an island, make sure that the people you bitch about do not know that you bitch about them, or you are doomed for life.

All said, i disclaim myself from all responsibility for whatever distress, emotional or physical that may arise as a result of this post.

-adrenalyn-

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	to die for
Your eyes...	sparkle like the stars
Your touch is...	awakening my heart
Your smell is...	refreshing
Your smile is...	entrancing
Your love is...	unique